Well what a week its been we had an invasion of meerkats at the dairy they said they have come all the way from Africa and were on their way to meet up with a distant relation called Alexsandr who has started up a website about meerkats. It all sounds a bit strange to me. Anyway they stayed for a couple of days before moving off on their journey but one stayed behind because he likes it here he says he likes to be called Countrykat because he plays the guitar and sings Johnny Cash songs he really is good. Here’s a picture of him in action

About three months ago a new takeaway opened in Dangly Bottom but despite advertising, free offers and two pretty girls standing outside he doesnt get many customers although the Indian and Kebab shops are doing great business and are always busy.

When i heard of this I took a ride in my mousemobile to have a look and i think i know the reason why and wonder if i should tell him. What do you think

have a look  HERE

I’ve often wondered what the sheep talk about when they are getting their wool trimmed so i decided to sneak up and have a listen.
It was just the usual type of sheep small talk, passing the time of day, the weather and so on. Then suddenly out of the blue the black sheep said to the barber sheep ” do you know i’ve heard the humans talking about something called virgin wool, I wonder where that comes from”. To which the barber replied ” Ugly sheep of course”, I had to run off and have a good laugh

Well I have been resting these last few weeks and i must say I feel a lot better for it. I am ready for the coming year although I have been busy helping sort out Patience’s new laptop and getting it ready for her to write her memoirs. I think she is going to call it “Memoirs of a Porker”

I must tell you about Poochie he had some audio tapes for christmas he was really pleased and found them very useful. Now he can bark in five languages

I have also been sorting out other peoples computers getting rid of viruses and getting them to work properly so i havent been slouching

More to come soon

Everything has slowed down around the dairy due to the snow we have had recently. All the squirells have decided to hibernate for a while as they were exhausted from the intense training they have been doing but have promised to be awake earlier than usual to continue training ready for the first season of racing. I myself am going to be having a rest over Xmas and the new year as i too have been very busy. Now that the dairy is running smoothly and all the animals have settled in and are quite content Ted is also relaxing and looking foreward to Xmas so I will Wish you all a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from All of us here and see you when the festivities are over or unless something unusual happens in the meantime

So, I mentioned before about the new project I thought of and now its time to announce what it is

(sound of trumpets)

Squirrel Racing

Now whats squirrel racing, well its like greyhound racing but with squirrels.

It took some time to get them to race out of the traps but that was due to using the wrong bait so to speak they wern’t interested in the stuffed rabbit so i substituted a very large acorn and that did the trick, you should see those rodents go when the traps open

Everybody in the surronding villages have been caught up in the excitment and are engaged in training squirrels ready for the first race meeting in January. Ted is building a special track with betting booths and a cafe and refreshment area. Tipsters will be attending to advise “punters” on the merits of each competitor. This looks like its going to be a really big sport in the surrounding area something that even the kids can participate in. I hve been training my squirrels very intensively and they really do fly off down the makeshift “gallop” on the Dairy. I have 2 grey and 6 Red squirrels that i will be entering in the event and i think I have a chance of winning a few races but will have to wait for the Day.

Well thats all for now and i’ll keep you informed of the latest news as it comes out

Strange things have been happening around the dairy on this date, during the night all the women disappear for hours on end, so to do the cats and strangest of all the broomsticks too. I couldnt believe it. The next morning all were back safe and sound and when i asked the missus she wouldnt answer me nor would any other female

Would someone tell me whats so special about this night please

Well since my last post I have been very busy, firstly I went on “holiday” with the missus to visit friends and relatives in Italy. First stop Rimini for 2 days then on to Macerata, another 2 days then to Fondi to my sister in law this was our base. We went to Sessa Arunca to pick up our friends who were on holiday as well and then went on to Mondragone to see their relatives and our friends. Then we had to go to Baselice for a 50th wedding aniversary and stayed overnight with friends the rest of the time it was just chilling out for me, eating and drinking (not excessively i must add) and generally “pigging out” Then back home.

While I was out there I had an idea for a new venture and i mused and pondered how to get this project started and since i’ve been back have been working hard on this project and will announce it soon so keep your eyes open for the latest news

Ted  had an idea for another new cheese this time made from rabbits milk. At first i was intrigued but became more and more confused as to how he was going to achieve this. I asked him how he was going to get all the milk from the rabbits and he said as i was the smallest he would assign me as Head Milker (rabbits) I was very flattered until I realised how many rabbits i would have to milk to get enough to make any cheese so I mentioned to him this fact. “I know you can do it” he said “I have even made a milking stool just for you”. Still not convinced I went off home to mull over the prospect and gather my thoughts. I had a bad night sleep and eventually woke up around midday and said to myself I’m going to have this out with Ted somethings not right here so off i went. I found him in his usual spot in the cowshed and said “we need to talk”   Ok he said and asked me what was on my mind so i began. “I’m not too happy about this milking business for a start we dont have any buckets small enough to fit under a rabbit secondly I’m going to have to milk at least 1000 of them in order to get enough milk for your purpose and also who’s going to make sure all the rabbits stay put and dont go wandering off due to boredom. “Dont worry so much” he said “have i ever asked you to do something you cant?, I have every confidence that your up to the job so be here tomorrow bright and early and you will see its not going to be as bad as you think”. Off i went still not convinced and it was on my mind for the rest of the day and night but the next day I was up bright and early and ready to tackle what lay ahead so off i went to the milking shed. Ted was there already with a dozen mini buckets that he had made from discarded tins and about a hundred rabbits were gathered in a pen looking rather annoyed and fidgity “I’ll brng some more when you’ve finished with these” he said and off he went. Well I thought i’d better get on with it so I coaxed the first rabbit out and of I went milking. It was so easy the rabbits seemed to like being milked and I’d soon filled up a 4 litre container and was begining to enjoy myself. “This isnt so bad i thought” and carried on with renewed vigor. After the first batch was done in came another 100 rabbits and off I went again. “This is going too well ” I thought “there must be something going on” but i couldnt figure what it could be. when i’d finished the second lot Ted poked his head round the door and said “why dont you take a break for a few minutes” to which i replied “thats ok I’m doing ok so i think i’ll carry on” so he brought me a cup of tea and said “well at least drink this” so i settled down, relaxed a bit and started drinking my tea thinking to myself how good a job i’d done and Ted must be really pleased with me. Off I went, back to milking amd after about half an hour I heard a funny noise outside. I didnt take much notice just carried on with my task and again i heard the noise this time I decided to Investigate so off I went laving a rabbit dangling over a bucket. I got outside to find that someone had erected a big banner. Thats strange i thought to myself when all of a sudden all the animals on the dairy appeared shouting and cheering and all of a sudden the banner flipped around and it said “Happy Birthday”. I was amazed that someone had remembered because i had completely forgotten. At first i was very cross that I had been fooled into wasting my time milking rabbits so i approached Ted to give me an explanation. “Well I had to figure out something to keep you busy while we set up the tables and chairs and all the food” he said. “Food what food?” I asked looking around. He picked me up and carried me around the corner of the cowshed and i was truely amazed. There were heaps of sandwiches, salads, pizzas and many more delicacies plus a lot of the villagers had turned up as well. I was overwhelmed. Then Ted said that It was the only way he could think of to not only celebrate my birthday but also the 1st anniversary of the day that he first found me on the dairy. I nearly burst into tears but after a few minutes the music started everyone came to congratulate me and the party got underway. It went on for the rest of the day and most of the night and everyone went home eventually in various stages of inebriation. I woke up the next day still feeling chuffed and noticed some of the animals had hangovers as well. As soon as i saw Ted I knew that I would never leave this place and Ted smiled and said “I’m relly glad you came here this place needed livening  up and you’ve done that. I just didn’t know what to say so I just said “You and your rabbit milking” and went off laughing

For the last several weeks things have been very quiet around here. It’s probably due to the fact that summer hass arrived and its usually quiet but thats not to say that everything has ground to a halt. Teds still busy but not as much since he has taken on a new assistant to help with the cheese making and there is still things to do. All the new arrivals have settled in and found theie feet and spend a lot of the time relaxing in their homes. All of us animals have decided to go for a day out at Limpid Lake. have a picnic and explore the area for the wildlife and introduce ourselves and make friends. Any new creatures we discover will appear on the Dairies website in due course.